Sunday, November 25, 2007

More TSA woes

So I had a flight pretty early this morning. Being that it's a major travel holiday I figured it better to go early and avoid the possibility of being late or getting stuck in lines. The only problem with zipping through all the lines early in the morning is thaht it gives me some time to think about shit again.

For example, as I was going through airport security, I realized there was a guy who had to go through background checks and training and all that horshit, who's collecting federal benefits and what I can only assume is a pretty decent wage and this guy's job consists of taking empty bins from one end of the scanner and putting them at the other end of the scanner so people can put in their shoes and shit. That's it. That's this guy's job, walk from point A to point B. Take empty bins from point B to point A. Leave them there. Rinse and repeat.

I cannot, for the life of me fathom what the job requirements were when he applied. I'm thinking it was basically "Have you ever worked at a supermarket, brining the shopping carts back from the parking lot into the store? Have you ever worked the food court at the mall, taking the trays back to the food vendors? Have we got a job for you!" Can you imagine the performance review for this job? "Gee, sorry Bob, You do very well at getting the empty bins from the end of the machine but you have to remember to bring them to the start of the machine Bob, it's the start of the machine. The guy watching the x-ray screen doesn't need the bins Bob. I'm sorry but we may have to let you go."

On the other side is his compatriot who's sole job seems to be making sure that when I walk through the metal detector I have a piece of paper. Ideally this would be a boarding pass, but really, it must be pretty easy to fake. I mean she doesn't have a list of the flights, the boarding pass is just a piece of paper. So for all she knows I could be on flight 218 sitting in seat 24D. It's not like she's checking a manifest. If I just make shit up, she can't prove me wrong. What's she going to say? "I'm sorry, but I don't believe, you. I don't think there's a flight 15, and why does your boarding pass asy 'public transit buss transfer' on it?"

I really hope for the sake of security that these people rotate jobs once in a while because if I was the guy who had to move bins back and forth all day I think I'd have to fucking taser someone just for the amusement. Just so I didn't go fucking insane and start playing little tricks like seeing what kind of explosives I could sneak past the other checkpoints.


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