Friday, February 03, 2006

This Guy and Some Dude

There are a lot of weird names out there. I've had students with all kinds of crazy names, but most of them were pretty reasonable people. I had one student named Phinn who, depsite having a name that constantly made me think of Jaws, was a pretty decent guy. I really don't know how many people out there are named Guy or Dude but it seems to me that most of them are total assholes. I was watching a person last night tell a cop that some Dude hit his car. How he know the person's name is beyond me, maybe vanity plates, or he had one of those "Hello, my name is" stickers on. But it made me realize that when something bad happens, when you get whacked over the head with a crowbar, or when someone anally rapes your pet, it's usually someone named Guy or someone named Dude. You see people explain to the cops or the news cameras about how, out of nowhere, this Guy comes up behind you, smacks you on the head with a rock, next thing you know you wake up in a Thai brothel and people are calling you Suki. It gets even worse when you get a bunch of Guys together. It's always "these four Guys jumped me for no reason. I was just sitting outside at 3AM minding my own business and these four Guys came out of nowhere." Whenever you get Guys together it's trouble. I can't imagine what terror occurs when there's Dude convention in town. You should stay away from people named Guy and people named Dude, they're bad news.

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