The Afterlife

I really hope that when we die, that’s it. I don’t like the idea of parents or grandparents watching us from heaven. I’m single, male and I have a broadband Internet connection. Can you imagine how much I don’t want to be haunted by the thought of my grandmother looking on as I wade through the Internet? And I certainly want to believe that when I’m dead and gone, I don’t have to spend eternity watching my kid in the aftermath of a Del Taco binge. All of which is to say, I wanted to sleep in on a Sunday, but the church next door to me has bells.