Sunday, December 21, 2014

Quarter Pounder

Usually if you’re going to have an organ removed, you can at least make jokes about weight. Like it’s some insurance subsidized holiday diet. Thing is, a gallbladder weighs like a quarter of a pound when it’s full. So even though I can’t actually eat a quarter pounder without throwing up for four hours and feeling like I’ve been punched in the kidneys, I also can’t make the dumb weight loss jokes. Once this stupid thing comes out I’m going to eat an entire fired chicken just for spite. No, scratch that, I’m going to have them weigh my gallbladder, then I’m going to get a burger that weighs like two or three times that and eat it in less time than it takes to cook it.


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