Monday, December 15, 2014

Adjectives

You can use “fishy” to describe something that’s suspicious. You can use “beefy” to describe a weightlifter or something with heft. You can use “porky” to describe Wayne Knight in Jurassic Park, but there’s not really any use for the term “chickeny”. You could use the words bullshit, horseshit, or chicken-shit as descriptors, but fish-shit isn’t a thing, although I think it should be. Well, I mean, it’s a thing in that it exists, but not as an adjective. These sorts of inconsistencies in language make we wonder if we all wouldn’t be better off learning Esperanto. Or Klingon, which is basically just German for nerds. Also, how come sheep get left out of this whole mess of adjectival domesticated animals? What makes them so sheep-f@#king special? See, it doesn’t work. 

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