Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Awkward conversations

I had what is quite possibly one of the more awkward date conversations in a while. Basically it went like this.
Her: So you've never cheated in a relationship?
Me: Nope, and I won't
Her: Is that like some personal code thing?
Me: Nope.
Her: So why not?
Me: Because I couldn't hide it
Her: Huh?
Me: I could never get away with it and I'd never live down the consequences.
Her: Are you that bad a lying?
Me: No, but look, the head of the CIA, the guy who's in charge of protecting all our secrets, aliens, who killed JFK, Abraham Linclon's clones hunting vampires across the world, shit like that, the guy who's security clearance is basically "are you fucking kidding me, of course I can keep a secret", he couldn't get away with an affair, what fucking chance do I have?
Her: So if you knew you could get away with it, would you cheat?
Me: I don't, probably. Just once to see if I really could get away with it.

This did not get me laid.

The date pretty much ended when I made some comment to the effect of "do you realize how many Chinese people there are in the world? Even if you're one in a million, that means there still like a million Chinese people wandering around, just as good as you are,"

I do not date well.


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