Folgers
The best part of waking up is Folgers in your cup? Really? If that's the case, then I strongly suggest you make some drastic fucking lifestyle changes my friend, 'cause that's just sad. We're talking like Extreme Makeover, Douche Edition level of changes
I mean, don't get me wrong, the best I look forward to when I wake up is a nap in the afternoon, but at least that's better than Folgers. At worst, absolute minimum, just masturbate. Rubbing one out is way better than Folgers. At least you can look forward to an orgasm instead of having to pee 10 minutes after your first sip of that raw sewage.
If Folgers is the best part of waking u for you, it's about time to throw in the towel. When your standards of satisfaction have dropped that low, it's time for you to journey out into the wild and just wee what animals will bother eating you. Start poking bears, or go harass a bee nest, something. You'll be better off with anaphylactic shock from hundreds of bee stings than drinking a single cup of Folgers. That mountain grown aroma? Yeah, that's a because a donkey pissed in your cup.
I mean, don't get me wrong, the best I look forward to when I wake up is a nap in the afternoon, but at least that's better than Folgers. At worst, absolute minimum, just masturbate. Rubbing one out is way better than Folgers. At least you can look forward to an orgasm instead of having to pee 10 minutes after your first sip of that raw sewage.
If Folgers is the best part of waking u for you, it's about time to throw in the towel. When your standards of satisfaction have dropped that low, it's time for you to journey out into the wild and just wee what animals will bother eating you. Start poking bears, or go harass a bee nest, something. You'll be better off with anaphylactic shock from hundreds of bee stings than drinking a single cup of Folgers. That mountain grown aroma? Yeah, that's a because a donkey pissed in your cup.
posted by rpalmeira at 9:24 PM
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