House budgets

I was looking at my pay from last year and it seems pretty lame. I live in an apartment and even in a down economy with a buyer's market. I can't afford a house.

Or at least not a 'house' without the word "dog", "bird" or "out" prepended to it.

I'd put in something about a lighthouse or a cathouse here but I'm too sad about my W-2 to think of anything worth typing.