Stages

My ex moved to a different state a while back. With the understanding that whatever goes on in her personal life, I don't want to know. We effectively split on fairly amicable terms. Anyway, I come to find out that she's been seeing someone there and I happy for her, blah, blah, woof, woof, all that shit. But now I find myself going through the seven stages of grief. I have given myself five days to go through the stages of

1. Drinking too much
2. Smoking an overpriced cigar and swearing a lot.
3. Buying a bunch of condoms with the expectation that I'm going to get laid then never using them only to one day find them in the back of my medicine cabinet afer they've passed the expiration date by two years.
4. Weeping like a little bitch.
5. Overworking.