thought of the day 2009 09 11 - Oprah

I've never been one for organized religion but I think I've decided that from now on should I need to attend a religious service of some sort I'm going to pray to Oprah. Really it just makes the most sense to me. It's more of a practical religious step. Unlike Catholics who don't allow birth control but let their clerics molest kids, Oprah can guilt anyone into admitting their wrongs, it's like Catholic Confession but more effective and on national TV, so you don't have to hide in a little booth. Unlike Zen, you don't have to sit and meditate for hours on end, in fact you can jump up and down on a couch if you like. And, if you pray hard enough to Oprah, you might actually get a new car. Try praying to Jehovah for a new car, unless you're a televangelist, it ain't gonna happen, but it might happen when you pray to Oprah.