White House Nicknames

I realize the President likes to give nicknames and I guess it's a neat sort of side job but when White House nicknames become the most productive output of the building it's a bit disturbing. And how the hell do you get a nickname like "Brownie"? A brownie is a little chocolate square you eat with coffee or a little girl trying to sell you little chocolate squares at a bake sale fundraiser. At least make the nickname fit the idiot. Something like "Arabian Horse's Ass" or "Brown Bag Hurricane Relief" or something simple like "dipshit". Or Scooter. Granted I don't think bush gave him that nickname, but how the fuck does a grown man, and the Chief of Staff to the Vice President no less, get a nickname like Scooter. Scooter is what you call the eight year old kid on your block who keeps crashing into shit. Now "Dick" Cheney, that's probably the most aptly given nickname in the White House. Maybe we should call Bush "Pubes" because 1) it's a synonym for bush in proper context and 2) sometimes he acts like a kid going through puberty.