Dem Primary Debate 1 - Night 1

Did I listen to 'debate' night 1? Yeah. But did I REALLY listen? Nah. First off, it's not a real debate. It's a group press conference. Show and tell for the overambitious. Second and more importantly, I don't care. Not a bit. Don't give half a shit at all. Whoever gets the nomination for 2020, that's my vote. Unless Bill Weld is suddenly anointed by God or Trump has a stroke in the middle of the 8'th hole fairway, I don't give a shit who gets nominated by the Dems, they get my vote. #JosephDiAngelgo2020 motherfuckers. I'll even take De Blasio over the current shitshow.

Now if I could choose who I wanted, that would be a different story. Then I'd choose John Wick. Not Keanu Reeves. I mean the John Wick character played by Keanu Reeves. Because I like the idea of Keanu Reeves having to spend four years in character meeting a bunch of diplomats and foreign leaders as John Wick. Plus I'm not entirely convinced Trump will leave willingly when he looses. I also like to imagine what would happen in the Senate when Mitch decides not to hold a hearing for a judicial nominee.

In the meantime, I get it, you can speak Spanish. Congrats. I'm going to spend a few hours on Pornhub now to get the picture of these people out of my head.