Accomplishment

I am feeling particularly unaccomplished this evening. There's a 35 year old in Texas who's not only managed to get himself a job that comes with an official federal law enforcement badge, but also managed to (allegedly) kill four people and attempt to kill one more. I'm not going to say how much older I am than this guy, but I have to admit, I haven't even attempted to kill one person yet, let alone succeeded four other times. All I do is pay taxes and furiously masturbate to weird porn. I'm way behind the curve here. My life lacks accomplishment.