points of anger

Here’s a brief series of random points of anger.

Don’t add the tip to my check automatically. I mean look, you can put the calculations on there. I might even appreciate not having to do math after going through five or six flights of sake, but I get to decide what to add for gratuity based on the quality of the service I get. If you add it automatically you should just increase your prices by 20% and figure out your profit sharing with your employees on your own fucking time. Don’t put that on me you asshat.

If you have a show called Beat Bobby Flay, somebody should be getting hit repeatedly with a lead pipe. Ideally, Bobby Flay. If nobody gets put into a coma, I feel cheated.

No you hipster douchebag, I’m not wearing this to be ironic. I don’t do things ironically I do things to, GO FUCK YOURSELF. I HOPE YOU GET IMPALED FROM FACE TO ANUS LIKE A CHINESE FINGER TRAP ON THE COCKS OF TWO LAVA DEMONS AND GET ROTISSERIED.

If you could go back in time and kill Hitler, on the plus side people could still wear that mustache. But you would forever deprive people of melodramatically comparing all their mundane bullshit to Hitler.