Points

I want a relationship that's like my credit card; I want to earn points for every dollar I spend. Or for every hour I have to listen to venting about how much you distrust the people you work with I can earn points redeemable for airfare....I bet you were thinking I'd say redeem the points for oral sex, but no, keep it clean dammit. Plus, with my track record, I'd rather have the miles.

And it's not a commitment phobia or any of that Dr. Phil bullshit. I'm not just trying to scam my way through a relationship. Again I go to my track record on commitment. I made a two year commitment to AT&T for mobile service and look how fucking well that turned out. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results.