I wouldn't make it as a vampire

I don't think I could last long as a vampire. After 40 or 50 years, I'd be too tempted to start saying creepy old guy stuff to my victims.

Don't get wrong they'd all be hot victims in their 20's ('cause I'm not a pedophile like the Twilight guy) but I'd be too tempted to say stuff like "back in my day you could get a pint of blood for only a ncikel"

Or "you know, it burns me and looks kind of stupid when you wear that cross on your neck and such a slutty dress" 

Or "you know, back in the Great Depression, you could just go and bite any hobo on a train and nobody cared. We didn't worry about all those STDs Luke you kids today."

Or "I kind of miss the good ol' days like with Marilyn Monroe and Betty Grable. Now there was a tasty gal."