Only One Dr. Phil - repost

I caught a TV ad this past weekend for Dr. Phil. The tag line was "There's only one Dr. Phil!" Well thank fuck! That's a good thing. Any more than one and I'd have to block my ears with cement and gouge out my eyes with a dull spoon. I have a hard time just standing the one nimrod already, more than that would be grounds for justifiable homicide.

Imagine if Dr. Phil were twins. But one of the twins has a totally different job, like auto mechanic or something. Somebody comes up and says "Hey! I've got a question for you. When I'm driving, I hear these noises, any idea how to get rid of them?" "Hm, well what kind of noise? If it's a pinging sound it might be your belts. Is it a pinging noise?" "Hm, no it's more like noises in my head telling me to pull the Glock out of the glove compartment and blast my way through traffic." "Oh! you want my brother, he's the one who deals with that stuff. When you go, tell him I sent you. He'll give you 10% off and validate your parking for free."